The transitional age begins when the child begins to feel uncomfortable with his parents. Doesn’t tell how his day went. Often begins to argue, not understanding the essence of the issue. To look like an adult. Unwilling to do household chores. There may be such an opinion that the child is groping for the weaknesses of the parents.
One of the most obvious signs of a transitional age is falling school performance. The child becomes distracted, forgetful, quick-tempered, vulnerable. The child’s daily routine changes. If earlier it was possible to see that the child is already sleeping at 22.00. Then during this period, sleep shifts by an hour or more. The child becomes touchy and does not understand jokes.
Such a difficult period in the life of a child must be endured. Undoubtedly, this is stressful for parents, and therefore many mothers and fathers turn to the Internet for help, read relevant literature.
Difficulties arise in the behavior and life of a teenager, in communication with parents.
Psychologist’s advice
1. Deception.
Problem. If the child began to deceive, it means that the trust in the parents has disappeared. Or there is such a fear of the truth that the child decides in favor of deception.
Solution. They cheat all the time. There is no one who always tells the truth. You need to remember yourself and put the child in his place. It is advisable to talk more with a teenager. Give examples from your own life. Do not in any way control, check, or conduct investigations to find out the truth. A child at this age, more than ever, needs to devote a lot of time. Joint weekends, going to the cinema, to nature.
2. Neglect.
Problem. The authority of the parent in the eyes of the child has fallen. The teenager does not listen and does not hear the request.
Solution. Here are three whales on which you can swim out of this problem: firmness, calmness, patience. The most important trump card is a personal example. It is also necessary for parents to follow the rules and procedures required of a teenager. Do not shout, always speak calmly and clearly. It is advisable to establish general rules in accordance with the age of the child and strictly follow them. Mom is an unquestioned authority, of course, not immune from mistakes. You need to be able to ask for forgiveness from a child
3. Rudeness.
Problem. The child is rude. The rudeness of a teenager is in most cases an accessible method of asserting one’s independence.
Solution. You need to watch your speech. Do not humiliate, do not call names. Allow the child to move away and develop independently. Do not encroach on the personal space of a teenager, but negotiate and talk.
4. Laziness.
Problem. There is also such behavior of a teenager when everything is too lazy to do. Not willing to go to school. Homework is not done.
The solution is to bring up responsibility for actions and deeds. Show responsibility and discipline by personal example. In this case, it is better to set boundaries. Of course, one cannot demand unrealistic results from a child. If he has always been a C student, he will not become an excellent student in one week. This is not an indicator of success in life at all. You need to guess and see the talents of the child and develop them. Do not compare the success of the child with classmates, but praise the child for diligence and diligence in what he likes.
5. Low self-esteem.
Problem. The child has low self-esteem. As a result, embarrassment.
Solution. Try to find an occupation for the child in which he will be strong. Help a teenager develop in this. Explain to the child that failures and mistakes happen to everyone. Failures are stepping stones to victory. Connect with your child’s friends. Make sure it is neat and clean. Instill the habit of caring for and taking care of yourself, accepting yourself and your body as it is.
6. Aggression
Problem. An aggressive teenager is not of his own free will – this is the release of hormones.
Solution. Teach your child to deal with aggression. Let off steam on a pillow, a punching bag. in the sports section. A child at this age needs adrenaline. It is necessary to explain to the teenager that the manifestation of various emotions, including negative ones, is normal. Of course, there are limits to the unacceptable. This should be discussed immediately and not allowed on both sides.
Psychologists advise: all negativity and resentment to speak to the water or write on the water. Then turn off the water.
In conclusion, we can derive a formula for the success of a relationship between a teenager and parents: I love. I respect. I accept. 10% control and 90% free swimming.
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